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Cell 28/8/2009

Hello fellow cell members =)

Here is cell details for this week:

Venue: Trinty TV room
Time: 7.30pm
Worship: Jon
Games: Felicia
QT sharing: Deborah
Refreshment: FAST FOOD NIGHT!!! (please take away whatever fast food that u want!)

Thank you for serving Him =)

We were born to be loved said a prayer at 2:59:00 pm Perfect..

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding.

Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple; and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Question: Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.)












Answer: The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

**** Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke. Men keep scrolling.














So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

Men keep scrolling....































By the way, if you're a woman and you're still reading, this illustrates another point: Women never listen. ;p

BenC said a prayer at 5:17:00 pm This makes me so happy that I quit golf..lol

At dawn the telephone rings. "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod that your parrot died.

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Yes, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird." "What did he die from?"

"From eating rotten meat, Senor Rod"

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor"

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell??....Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle??!!!

"Yes Senor Rod."

"But there's electricity at the house!!! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

"WHAT BLO ##**& ODY FUNERAL??"

"Your wife's, Senor Rod... She showed up one night out of the blue and I thought she was a thief, So I hit her with your new Tiger Woods' Nike Driver."

SILENCE.................. ,





LONG SILENCE....

"Ernesto if you broke that driver, you're in deep s#$t!"

BenC said a prayer at 5:17:00 pm This is a compilation of work by actual student GCSE

This is a compilation of work by actual student GCSE
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to liveelsewhere.

2. The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

3. Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada.

4. Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5. The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth.

6. Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name.

7. Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8. In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java.

9. Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long.

10. Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them.

12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.

13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature.

14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head.

15. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah."

16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.

18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained.

19. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe.

20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this.

21. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin,and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand.". Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.

22. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms.

23. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the EmasculationProclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career.

24. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy.

25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees.

26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large.

27. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.

28. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children.

29. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is In the East and the sun sets in the West

30. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign.

31. The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up. Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.

32. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers.

33. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

BenC said a prayer at 5:14:00 pm Repost for the Malaysians in the cell


Tuan tuan dan puan puan daripada sel Allison,

Oleh kerana aku sudah berasa bosan untuk mengulangkaji, aku akan menulis sesuatu di blog sel kita. Anda hendak tahu mengapa aku menulis dalam Bahasa Melayukan? Ini kerana aku berasa SANGAT patriotik terhadap tanah air aku dan hendak melatih Bahasa Melayu supaya aku tidak melupanya. Dan juga ada satu ahli sel kita erhh hmm.. ISABEL.. yang berasal daripada Pulau yang amat kecil itu yang terdapat di selatan negara kita dan tak memahami Bahasa Melayu! Kamu pasti pernah dengar saya menggunakan perkataan "Super TAFE" tapi tidak memahami maksudnya jadi saya akan mengambil peluang ini untuk menceritakan tentang asal usul "universiti" yang dipanggil "Super" TAFE!!


Sekarang biarlar aku menceritakan sedikit tentang sejarah "universiti" ini. Pada tahun 1991, sekumpulan guru berasa tak puas hati kerana masih mengajar di TAFE. Mereka berpakat untuk menubuhkan universiti tersendiri bernama Edith Cowan University. Universiti mereka akan menawarkan kursus-kursus tiada university lain di Australia mahu menawar. Moto mereka ialah Kebebasan melalui Pengetahuan. Oleh itu mereka menawarkan siswazah tersendiri seperti darjah dalam pelancongan. Siswazah darjah pelancongan belajar bagaimana menjadi pemimpin pelancongan. ECU belum capai piawai UWA tetapi mereka lebih maju daripada TAFE. Oleh kerana ini, mereka berada dalam kelas tersendiri yang bernama "Super" TAFE! Inilah cerita asal usul "Super" Tafe.


Terima kasih kerana tidak membunuh aku Isabel. Oh.. kamu tak faham pun.. Haha.. Maju Malaysia!!


Yang amat bosan,

Ben

BenC said a prayer at 7:02:00 am Cell 21/08/2009

Hello people :)

Since our dearest cell leader was abit long-winded in the previous post, i shall keep this post short and sweet =)

here is the details for cell this friday:

Where: Glenn & Jon's house
When: 7.30pm
Games: Yenlu
Worship: Jon Lo
QT Sharing: Isabel Tan
Refreshment: Everyone please bring some finger food :)

And also, shall we have a movie nite after cell? please leave a comment!!!!!!!!

Steph

We were born to be loved said a prayer at 9:56:00 am updates!

holla!!

i just realised that the second [x] only show one post per page but multiple clicks will bring you to previous posts.

updates~!

• there're upcomin events posted up on the last [x] let me know if i missed out any.
• let's come up with some creative cell themes (: [dresscodes are welcomed] post ur suggestion on the chat box. and we'll come up with a vote. get thinking! ben i know ur pro at this.
• start planing on what you wanna do during sem break as a cell. cell outing! again post ur suggestion on the chat box and we'll take a vote [BEN where are YOU!!?!]
• 40 hour famine!! let's do it as a cell :) [not compulsory]
• keep encouraging each other!
• stop facebooking!! it's bad for YOU (:
• STUDY hard!
• remember your QUIET TIME!
• i should stop nagging now ;)
• remember your QT!!

Anonymous said a prayer at 8:08:00 pm amo l'italiano

Hellooooo!

Anonymous said a prayer at 8:54:00 pm it is finished!!

hello!!

YaY this blog is finally done (:

yes, this sem we'll be focusing on prayer and obedience!! thus the layout!

anyways, update for this friday cell~

Passion Combine

venue: Murdch Worship Center
time: 720pm

see u there!!

Anonymous said a prayer at 1:25:00 am

Allison Goh
Benjamin See
Chong Yen Lu
David Lim
Deborah Ng
Felicia Chia
Glen Goh
Isabel Tan
Jonathan Lo
Stephanie To
Yee Xiang Chia